She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
