I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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