I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
