i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
