I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
