I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
