Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
