I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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