margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
one two three fourrrrnication!
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize