DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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