He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
