I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
