What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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