If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
