if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
