So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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