grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
