he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
