also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
