So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
