so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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