eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
