new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
