I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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