Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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