White coat. Heels.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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