i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
