I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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