He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize