So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
