So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I want her autograph on my taint
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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