this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
