Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
