just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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