I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
