Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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