Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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