Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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