my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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