The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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