omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
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