I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
