My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
