Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
