he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
