dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize