i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
