I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
