Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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