After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
