I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize