I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
