i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize