Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
