There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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