its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
