she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize