Where is the hickey?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
