Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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