Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
