Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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