What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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