He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I want a musical about memes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
